"Life is a drift dive..."

This is a lizard from the forest...the temps are going up and the reptiles are becoming more visible...if you see this image elsewhere it is because it was just hacked from this library computer...same ol' same ol'...just came from the cancer doctors office where the plan has been to bitch slap the testosterone back down and hope he PSA goes down also...whatever...i had to ask the question..."HOW LONG WILL I LIVE WITHOUT THE MEDICINE?" maybe two years...he says the chances of knocking the cancer out is good...that is what they are on the payroll to say...anyhow i have been watching some good youtube in the last week...for instance...so i saw a guy named Abubaker Abed a 21 year old journalist...i think he got the job because he was one of the only ones left alive in gaza...now in this short interview he basically has a meltdown until amy goodman of democracy now just moves on...this young fellow keeps asking the same question..."DON'T WE HAVE A RIGHT TO BE HERE?"...the short answer is "NO YOU DO NOT BECAUSE...WAIT FOR IT...MIGHT MAKES RIGHT!"...that's correct and you did not hear it here first...the leadership of the palistinian people is and has been for a long time "RETARDED"...now i also saw an iterview a few years back with a woman named Jess Housty who is a HEILTSUK native from vancouver b.c....she said that where she was was the only place on earth where her being matched the earth...she said her very molocules were from this place...and she liked the place too...now my molocules are from all over the place...it works for me, and i have strong affinity for planet earth...it is my home planet...speaking of which the LEX FRIDMAN interview with NICK LANE (probably no relation to ms nikkie lane) mr lane is an evolutionary biologist and gets into the details of how life on planet earth evolved...pretty good stuff...also there is a terrifying account of the LAOGAI prison system in china by simon whatshisface...i can certinly see this country rounding up the 'HOMELESS' folks and putting them to work...hopefully picking up trash...and not selling their organs...at least not until they get some trash picked up...so the guy who blew up the vehicle in palm springs was said to have "NIHILISTIC IDEATIONS"...nut case is easier to say...i watched a documentary in 5 parts called "The ballad of ramblin jack elliot" made by his daughter Aiyana Elliot...i saw this man play music when i was missing in missoula one summer...arlo guthrie said that there would be no bob dylan if there was no jack elliot...so there was one youtube presentation which kept me thinking a lot an is was called..."the quantum deception: why your mind is not your own" by julia McCoy...(25 min) this is about quantum AI more or less...mind bending stuff...also "The uncanny horror of AI Hallucinations" by sara davis baker (32 min)...makes you think... "LIFE IS A DRIFT DIVE...AND THEN YOU RUN OUT OF AIR." TIM CAHILL from "the entranced duck" in "hold the enlightenment" a collection of good tales

"Using his burgeoning intellegence..."

it seems to me that we need to nurture more seeds and not sow them on rocks i heard mr musk say "i think everyone will want their own humanoid robot"...i was sitting with the man who rented me my auto mobil and we were uncertaain about how far the trip was...he confidently picked up his phone and asked the non-humanoid robot how far it was...it did not understand...then he asked again and the robot recommended some information on anger...WHOA BUDDY! when the "devices" start to program the human it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship...more social commentary...as you might have heard the catholic church has chosen (democraticaly) a new bishop of rome...called the pope...you know i am pleased to see that pope bob like all of his predesessors has decided to wear the humble garb of the man who (allegedly) these folks want to emulate...the church people seem to me to be dramatically over-dressed for the occasion...and unabashed hypocrites...i hear pope bob don't like the queers and was a big do-gooder in peru...why did he get the job? i think the answer is hidden in the david bowie song "i"m afraid of americans"...yes god is an american!...the $142 billion arms deal with the saudis and the usa may come back to bite this country on the ass...what could go wrong!...the worlds poorest leader died in uruguay leaving his 1987 volkswagon bug...not a collectable but his daily ride...this from my florida wildlife and fisheries emails...89 year old man killed by black bear on monday the 5th of may...three bears in the vicinity killed...on may 1,2,4, and 6 a florida panther was killed by vehicular traffic on the roads...vehicles are winning the body count...RFK jr says sugar is poison...i think they (we) subsidize sugarcane growers...maybe they could get some of these farmers to plant bamboo instead of sugarcane...and i read where there is $1.4 billion bucks spent on "kidult" toys...toys for adults...figures..."Using his burgeoning intelligence, the most successful of all mammals exploited the environment to produce food for an ever increasing population, in spite of disasters when civilizations have over-reached themselves that process has continued indeed accelerated even today. Now mankind is looking for food not just on this planet, but others. Perhaps the time is come to put that process in reverse. Instead of controling the environment for the benifit of the population, perhaps it's time to control the population for the benifit of the environment." David Attenborough from "The life of mammals"

"The white man goes into his church..."

the last blog was just deleted...whatever...the pregnant pronghorn antelope arrived on mothers day...appropriately...and the least chipmunks come around to eat crackers and get a drink of water...the dark eyed junko birds do also...the visit to yumertonville to get a positron emmision tomography scan (PET) cost me more than $600 bucks but was needed to see if the prostate cancer had metastisized (migrated) into any other parts of my body...the cancer seems to be in some lymph nodes now also... this is the most popular destination for cancer to travel to from the prostate...so nothing too unusual there...of course once the cancer gets the traveling bug...in a manner of speaking...they can go wherever the bloodstream goes...and usually do just that...i think the secret in this cancer industry is to balance the positive against the negative and effect your own trans-migration before your life is miserable...as i see it...i saw an old withered tall slinder woman in a wheel-chair in the cancer ward and she looked like she had one foot in the grave...but she was getting around under her own power and did not seem like she was ready to give up...pretty impressive woman...the cancer industry likes for the cancer patients to hang on as long as possible...more money made that way...i was stalked and harassed the whole time i was in yumertonville...the 3AM truck radio blasting outside my motel room door was meant to keep me awake so i would be too fatigued to drive back to the mountains safely...very common...i seem to have pissed off "the dykes" since there has been a steady stream of dykes harassing me...women in general seem to have taken a dis-like to me...a most likeable fellow...the fact that my wallet was searched while i was under the PET scanner for 25 minutes does not increase my respect for the professionalism of my health care providers...i did however manage to go to a couple of thrift stores and i picked up a great book called "the rolling stone encyclopedia of rock" 1100 pages...and as i read through the book from from the front i came across some great information about bands...such as "BLODWYN PIG" one of their better tunes is "JILL"...also i found that "ETHYL MEATPLOW" "THE DEVILS JOHNSON" is interesting..."FLASH FEARLESS VS THE ZORG WOMEN" have some interesting tunes..."REMBRANT PUSSYHORSE" by the BUTTHOLE SURFERS...has some...well different tunes..."TAKE THE SKINHEADS BOWLING" by CAMPER VAN BEETHOVEN is different..."Bongo FURY" features frank zappa as well as don vann vliet (captain beefheart)...it is an aquired taste..."JUKULA" is actually quit good with johnny clegg...anyhow that's as far i've got in the rolling stone encyclopedia...i picked up a collection of DVDs about dangerous activities...many of these depict military operations...one segment is about the special marine raiders who were sent into degrade the abilities of the japanese soldiers on the pacific islands...carlsons raiders were an exceptional group because evans carlson treated all his troops the same whether officers or inlisted men...i was thinking about heros and heroics and how it is difficult to say what the merits of heroism are...there is a good movie called "1917" and is about a couple of british soldiers in WW1 who's assignment is to deliver a message to a group which is quite a distance away and there is a good chance of being killed or captured trying to deliver the message...if you can find the DVD with the documentary about how the film was made it is worth looking at...i bring this up because there was a german soldier who had the same job as these british guys...he was commended for bravery...his name was ADOLF HITLER... "The white man goes into his church and talks about Jesus, but the Indian goes into his tipi and talks to Jesus." Quanah Parker

"Its no longer an election..."

the remarkable thing about driving a 2025 model automobile after driving only a 2004 or older vehicle is that you are not likely to realize how many more features new vehicles have...i never considered owning a newer vehicle until having spent 8 hours driving one across the state...so if i win the lottery or some other financial windfall, i might consider driving a newer vehicle...but i am mostly thinking an older vehicle that i can work on or public transit...well i watched mr trump announcing his united kingdon trade deals this morning..."WHERE'S THE BEEF!...i guess it is in the usa until they buy it...the news from "OPEN AIR AUCSHWITZ" formerly know as Gaza is very grim indeed...nothing much to releive the agony of the Palistinians...police officers found not guilty of abusing unto death a citizen of tennessee...but these cops were black so i guess its just OK...watching the non-useful talking heads on the c-span station i did see a mr. steny hoyer say something that seems increasingly evident...many of these issues are a distraction and meant to keep the legislators from discussing issues that keep this nation at a standstill...not to my surprise i heard the lady attorney general announce how much drugs and guns and money has been taken from the "MONSTERS"...(this term is way over used)...she also announced that several hundred people had been arrested for sex crimes...several of these were people with badges...GET THEM OFF THE PAYROLL!...heard that $1.5 billion is spent yearly...wait for it...wait for it...on "KIDAULT" toys...toy for adults...wow...to acknowledge the 50th anniversery of the fall of saigon i thought i might illuminate a powerful photograph which has been circulating for more than half a century...the image of a vietnamese man with a pistol in his hand pushed up against the head of another vietnamese man while blowing his brains out has always been described as a bad person doing something to a good person...but a person who was there said the gunman was a vietnamese chief of police and the dead person a vietcong who had just been caught at a mass grave of civilians...i guess the fog of war takes a long time to dissipate...and i would like to comment on a comment made on the the series "Criminal Minds"...namely "spencer" is sitting at a electronic gambling machine waiting for a team member when an attractive woman sitting next to him becomes curious as his machine tallys more and more winnings...the black team member comes up and "spencer" gets up to leave with him...the woman tells "spencer" that the machine has $2000 dollars on it..."spencer" tells her to keep it...as they walk away the black guy tells "spencer" that he just gave $2000 to a prostitute, which i suppose is meant to suggest that this woman is not worthy of any kindness...this seems like it reinforces a lot of amimosity towards a sex worker and promotes negativity towards people who have historically been oppressed...too bad... "It's no longer an election...it's an auction" Troy Hebert (louisiana political pundit)

"It is interesting and probably not at all important..."

not exactly a blizzard last night in the forest but a bit of snow which was mostly melted by the time i left...now headed to the 100 degree desert...can't be helped...medical test needed to see if the cancer bugs have branched out and colonized other parts of my corporal being...i was a hero to the dark eyed junko birds when i put out some crushed crackers and cooked oatmeat...the cold weather requires more food for more energy...that is also my excuse for consuming more calories than i expend...can't be helped...the more i read in steinbecks "The log from the sea of cortez" the more genius i find...i watched a lengthy biography of steinbeck on youtube which pretty much depicted him as a seriously flawed person...can't be helped...i seem to have been targeted more acutely by a criminal element...who seem to see themselves as above the law...i keep hearing that they are the "snakes"...i know not of their origin or motives...but i imagine it has to do with the money they derive from their busineses...from what i can determine the money which evaporates from various budgets is used to invest in busneses which compete with "the dark element"...government mafia verses the various other mafias...i wonder if mr patel has recognized the extent to which the "india" element has dominated certain aspects of busineses...mainly hotels/motels...these folks house various and assorted persons who are "clandestine" so the busneses are protected as long as they keep providing free housing...unfortuneately people like me get to be known as non-supporters of the "system" and are harased...such as right now in this very hotel room...i don't think robert mueller ever quite grasped the extent of corruption in his sacred marines...semper fungus...they kept saying they were "runting" me...they are brainwashed...or conditioned, and certainly have no intention of defending the constitution of the USA...i guess the military will adjust to the removal of some of the upper echelon of their numbers...a leaner military has been talked about for a long time...one of the original requirments in the constitution was "NO STANDING ARMY"...that concept was abandoned until now we have military squeezing out civilians. i was looking at the youtube offerings and came across "STORM.INC" which is storm large videos from quite w while ago...she was a singer in a "punk" band and her presentation is as exciting as her more recent "classical" work...i kept trying to think of a term to describe what it is that characterizes her work and the term "DUENDE" seemed appropriate="a quality of passion and inspiration"...yep it all of that at least...i was impressed with "ladylike" which has several versions... "It is interesting and probably not at all important to note that when a human state is attempting collectivization one of the first steps is a frantic call by the leaders for an increased birth rate- replacement parts in a shoddy and mediocre machine." J. Steinbeck (1951) from "the log from the sea of cortez"

"...mourn the crushed..."

the photos are in order from the top= 6 strings, sky with clouds, smoke from a burn nearby, and most important the ants i discovered under a rock in the meadow...this is a mystery to me...tiny ants caring for large eggs and smaller eggs...can't figure out how this can be...anyhow i think maybe the old woman in the sci-fi story was right...the ants will rule the planet eventually...last week i rented a room at "mine quest" or something like that...very interesting goings on their...first there was a so called painter in one room who suddenly turned up his boom box to play nasty rap too loud...white guy who looked like he might have some criminal intent...the first thing i noticed was a guy on a motorcycle with saddle-bags who looked like he was going to check into the room next to mine (lots of people who ride motorcycles do so because they are very difficult to track from ABOVE...then there was the woman with florida plates on her car who was a house/pet sitter or so she said...she said she was 72 years old...maybe...maybe not...i think she was a fake...then there was a large muscular white guy smoking a cigarette in the parking lot, then there was a scruffy looking white guy who came over and said he was the guy who i had yelled at the night before, except the guy i yelled at was a black man, and this fake guy apologized for screwing with me, and then there was a guy smoking a joint in the parking lot who was pretty aggressive and was growling under his breath about all kinds of stuff, and he said that there were bad mysterious things in the woods and he had been to prison on gun charges and so on and so forth...he had read thousands of books and a bunch of non-relevant crap wasting my time...he did not have stoned eyes however...after several minutes of blather he says he had gone to get his son in some city further south and he was headed to las vegas and was going to make a lot of money blah blah blah etc...then he opens the door to his room (next to mine and out comes a little boy who looked dazed and confused...i wonder if he had eaten breakfast since stoner dad seemed a little under organized...i was tempted to call the cops when he got into his car with the kid and bust him on reckless endangerment of a child...get stoned. drive to vegas with your kid...bad plan...then the large white guy with muscles says almost out of hearing,"keep him guessing" this was a show by team stupid who seem to have more money than smarts...AND...it is probably taxpayer money...there are so many incompetent people on the payrolls it is no wonder that this country (and especially arizona) is over-run with crime families...crime family values prevail...but i am pursued all across the globe and now as i age i realize i ain't gettin no younger so i have looked at my options available for an "actionable tort"...according to a dvd discussing non-economic damages i should consider this...physical pain,humiliation, loss of enjoyment of life, anxiety, mental suffering, inconvienence, emotional distress, grief, shame, embarassment, fear, feelings and loss of reputation, to name the more obvious possibilities...every time i go into a restroom i am followed by some clown who says he is checking the bathroom for kids,,,the slander which has surrounded me for a long time is that i am "interested" in children...the slander is that i am a drug dealer (pot being the most likey suspect) the slander is that i am a terrorist (due to the dollar i gave to greenpeace), the slander is that i am a violent and potentialy dangerous person...i kept hearing that i was going to be "put into a "home"..so i started looking at nice homes in the area, only to realize that there was a desire of the criminal element to have me declared unable to care for myself...and if i was kept in a controled situation i would not keep exposing the multitude of crimes and lack of government adressing these crimes...well i think if i had some of the money from damages (see the above list) i might be able to regain some joy after many years of suffering...so much for the daily trials and tribulations...when i was diagnosed with prostate cancer the woman who i spoke with on the phone said i had an agressive form of cancer...ok so several months later they decide to give me radiation treatments...so when i show up every day for the treatments two hispanic young men line me up on the machine and turn on the juice for perhaps a minute...well on a few of these sessions a couple of women were there and a couple of times one of the guys said "they did not even turn on the machine"...which may account for the evidence from the recent blood test that the cancer has returned...murder by medicine...yuma regional criminal center...no wonder they changed their name...now the oncologist wants me to have a head to toe ex-ray to see if they can spot any cancer...that is in yuma and i am here...so perhaps they could get me a flight from here to there on their nickle and then a flight from there to here after the x-ray...but i suspect that by the time i could get a lawyer to negotiate a settlement i will be dead from "complications of prostate cancer"...by the way even if the cancer ends up in the bones or the lungs it is still called prostate cancer...i wish i had had better medical personel now that i think about it... "mourn the crushed ant/and despise the reason of the heel." from a Leonard Cohen poem in "Let us compare mythologies" (1956)

"Among the sons of men..."

lots of excitement last week at the meadow site...of course the gun goober showed up to blast the large bore rifle and the handguns...these folks seem to be unable to organize themselves enough to have good shooting ranges made available to responsible participants in the shooting sports...there are golf courses, basketball courts, even skating rinks paid for by taxpayer dollars so certinly shooting ranges are not a luxury...but i have determined that the 'OUTLAW" lable is sought afte byr too many gun goobers as it makes them feel empowered and turgid...ah yes guns and turgidity...made for one another...right this minute i am watching a man who hates donald trump (MSNBC) and is blaming him for everything wrong in the world from expensive dolls to poor security in e-mails...i heard time and again that the presidents "approval rating" is the lowest of any president...well for a long time...i always remember watching the "pundits" saying that h. clinton had a 87% chance of beating mr trump...so much for accurate polls eh...anyhow, i read that rewarding people for exposing inefficiency at work produced good results...where can i get hold of elon and get him to review the BLM (department of interior) and National forest (department of agriculture) contracts to thin forests and sell the timber...we be gitten robbed!...well so much for efficiency...my raven friends at the meadow remembered me and flew fast and low vocalizing when they saw me...they are nesting in the same large tree they were in two years ago raising a family...after a couple of days i put down a mouse trap around my grocery boxes at night and caught a mouse and gave it to them which really made their day... the nightime temps got down to 14 degrees which is why my fingers got numb while making breakfast i suppose...i picked up some excellent books which i read all week...steinbecks "log of the sea of cortez" (1951) which is part science and part philosophical speculation...excellent read...also i picked up a book called "empire of the summer moon" mostly about the comanche indians in texas...not a pretty sight...also "the history of beauty" by uberto eco...i watched "to have and to have not" with lauren bacall and humphrey bogart as well as hoagland carmichael (no relation) i could not figure out why bogarts name was harry but bacall called him steve...anyhow better to re-watch good stuff than watch bad stuff...i try to end the day watching music and as usual i obsess on some presentations until i get my fill...this week i watched pink martini with storm large every day...still thrills me...i heard that due to beyonce knowels "county" album the genre is now a happening thing...hats and boots and all that goes with...i had a cowboy outfit once for busness purposes since i was asked to show up in cowboy garb for a job as a movie extra ($100 a day and a meal) i got rid of all that stuff and now i mainly wear clothes from the marked down rack at the thrift store...lots of 50 cent shirts and two dollar pants...works for me...the harassment continues and it is time for me to write about it in detail...later "Among the sons of men how few are known, who dare be just to merit not their own." Charles Churchill (1731-64) ;