NEWS FLASH-NEWS FLASH
small town in northwestern oregon hit by violence
yesterday morning the small dairy town or tillamook was
shocked when the mayor and seven city council members were
taken hostage by several thousand holstein cows
at dawn yesterday thousands of cows bashed their way out
of their milking barns and proceeded to the town hall
where a meeting was taking place of the mayor and ten
city council members
the cows are demanding that their demands be met
or the hostages will be gored to within an inch of their lives
the demands
which include three milkings a day
an increase in their grain ration
better quality hay
kosher grain due to their hebrew heritage
no working on saturday
and that the town be renamed
tillamoo
also they insisted that the male calves be
put up for adoption to single child
chinese families
secretary of state kerry said he is in negotiation
with the chinese
the fbi hostage negotiation team said the situation
may become critical as mrs lawrence is lactose
intolerant and no food or drink has been allowed in
a lifetime citizen and dairy farmer
mr ezekiel teatsqueezer was quoted as saying
"i knowed we shudda cut the horns on them dangs cows"
film at eleven
"...an economy is truly healthy only
when it's people know how to make
and do things that others will pay them
a decent amount for. Jobs, in other words,
are not the cause of a healthy economy;
they are the by-product. And thats another
thing most national polititians know but
will never say." Adam Davidson
what a circus
mr. cayetano
