"Never descend...

                                                                                     

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Teatsqueezer Cow College under investigation for enrollment irregularities

Our interviewer met with Mr. Teatsqueezer, founder of the Cow College and renown
bovine educator. His work with the Spanish government during the volatile attempt
to establish a Cattle Only nation and also during the tense standoff at city hall in
Tillamook, Oregon when hundreds of dairy cows took over the buildings demanding
better working conditions.

Mr. Teatsqueezer according to records made available by the government the College is
under investigation for possible accepting of bribes to facilitate the enrollment of students
who may not have been accepted otherwise.

Yes, as you know the College has long had a reputation for very high standards and competion
is very brisk. We try to be fair and forthright about the difficulties in gaining admittance.

Well, Mr Teatsqueezer our survey of the student body revealed that there were three pigs and six goats in the student body. How do you explain that irregularity?

As for the pigs we assumed that they were very short, fat, hornless cows with plastic surgery
done to their tails. We of course did not want to embarrass these students and did not mention this.
And besides their parents donated several truckloads of hay and alfalfa and a case of bag balm.
And they Photo-shopped udders in the photos they sent of themselves.

Well how do you explain the six goats?

They are a breed of very large goats with pretty big horns and besides they had a lot of good
references. Some of the goats had won awards for sports. Mountain-climbing being their most
impressive achievement. And their parents donated several hundred sacks of feed.
We did not accept any horses as you failed to point out. They did not pass the SAT test
(stock animal test)
And I would like to add that the interview room is pretty dim since we like to conserve
on energy due to our concern about global warming. We also have several classes on
how to minimize burping and flatulent behavior to lessen methane. We are a green campus.

Thank you for you time Mr. Teatsqueezer

My pleasure 

"Never descend to the ways of those above you."
                                                George Mallaby