"Death destroys a man:..."

watched another documentary last night

second episode of ascent of man

by j. bronowski

the harvest of the seasons

he spent time with the bakhtiari nomads

from iran

sheepherders living in the mountains

traveling 250 miles twice a year

on foot and donkey and

swimming many cold rivers

with their livestock

and then bronowski spent time in jerico

where agriculturalist were born

he pointed out that nomads don't invent

because they are too busy gettin' a livin'

whereas agriculturalist invent things

because they have some free time

to think

they invent civilization

yeah right

then he mentioned that the mongols

were nomads and they participated

in a co-operative form of theft

from the agriculturalist

that co-operative form of theft thing

seems to have flourished

bronowski pointed out that among the bakhtiari

when the old

could no longer cross the rivers

they stayed behind to die

makes ya think

or should

life is as fragile as milkweed down

death is certain

think i'll watch the new documentary

about the roma tonight

the gypsies

something comforting knowing

there are still nomads on this planet

not inventing civilization

 "Death destroys a man:

the idea of death saves him."

                           E.M. Forster

got to get

back to the circus

mr. cayetano

"He has outsoared the shade..."

i am sitting at a small table in a smokey bar
in new orleans
i clutch a beer bottle in my hand
while the singer in the band sings a few notes
as i chat with a lovely woman across the table from me
 from behind the bar a floozy watches the crowd

a man says cut

the singer stops singing
the water vapor smoke begins to thin
the beer bottle is empty and has been
and i am still 24 years sober
the lovely woman is happily married
but not to me
the floozy behind the bar
is a stunningly beautiful redhead
who breaks the heart of men like me
for a hobby

this is the business of illusion
selling illusion to people
who are already living an illusion
a mirror reflecting a mirror reflecting a mirror

we do it three more times
then the director thanks us
and we walk two blocks back to the
building to get out paperwork signed
then catch the van to the parking lot

i wonder if i have enough gas to get home
and if the 6 bucks i have in cash will help if i don't
my heart hurts a little
but it is not broken
yet



He has outsoared the shade of
 our night;
Envy and calumny and hate and
pain,
And that unrest which men miscall
delight,
Can touch him not and torture not
again;
From the contagion of the worlds slow stain
He is secure, and now can never
mourn
A heart grown cold, a head grown
grey in vain."
                       Percy Bysshe Shelly
                                 1792-1822

back to the circus

mr. cayetano

“True guilt is guilt to the obligation...

the notion of guilt sometimes enters

into my mind

there are all kinds of things

people seem to think I need to

be, act, do, say, etc.

been reading fewer books lately

can’t really make any excuses

 thinking maybe I could say

 i’ve been reading a lot on-line

yeah right

to paraphrase truman capote’s comment

on kerouac’s  book ‘on the road’

that’s not reading

that’s surfing

see the queers can get married now

in california

good for them

serves them right

now when I go to wombat park to ride the bike

i have to worry about being kidnapped

by a queer when I go to the bathroom

and taken to california

and forced to marry him

pretty funny

the vigilantes stake out the bathroom

and send someone around

to make sure no homosexualites try

to snatch some innocent child

what a joke

they are vigilante fanatics

“Does it really matter what these affectionate people do- so long as they don’t do it in the street and frighten the horses! Mrs. Patrick Campbell

(referring to rumours of a homosexual liaison between two actors.)

turned on the tele a few days ago and

watched with horrified fascination as one

person after another paraded up to the podium

to declare themselves the most “conservative”

candidate, commentator or whatever

these people are fanatics

scares the shit out of me

definitely time to start the

mushroom tea party

all candidates will give speeches naked

all candidates will take several bong hits

before giving a speech

all candidates will read ginsburg's 

howl 

aloud before beginning a speech

all candidates will sing lennon's 

give peace a chance 

before giving a speech

is it just my imagination or does that coulter

woman have a decidedly saurian look

watched one of my favorite tele stations yesterday

c-span

several hours of congressional interviews with

the nations top intelligence chiefs

cia

fbi

military

they seemed worried

lots of threats to our freedom

they say

 seemed like a lot

of pretzel logic to me

as the hearings ended

mr clapper (does that name ring a bell) (military)

& mr mueller (fbi)

congratulated each other on being marines

they seemed like fanatics

 “From fanaticism to barbarism is only one step.”

                                  Denis Diderot (1713-1784)

 “True guilt is guilt to the obligation one owes to oneself to be oneself. False guilt is guilt felt at not being what other people feel one ought to be or assume that one is.” 

                                                                        R.D. Laing

anyhow

happy valentines day

mr. cayetano

"All men dream but not equally."

i had a dream

some more

again

the earth opened up and swallowed my truck

the truck turned over and spilled

everything into the hole

in the earth

i barely escaped

i wept bitterly

lots of significant imagery

what’s it all mean mr. natural

went to the irs last week

waited in line to see the guy at the desk

two guys ahead of me

they go up to the desk

they are deaf

they speak in sign language

they start out calmly

then become increasingly animated

soon they are yelling

with their hands

screaming

pointing at their paperwork

eventually they become disgusted

and leave

a lot was said but

not a sound was heard

i get my advice from the desk and leave

i return to the irs this week

i get in line

 the guy behind the desk

gives me the hand gun

you know he makes a gun with his hand

and points it at me

i’m being shot

by the federal employee

he is black

if i were in his seat and he were

where I am

i would lose my job

or at least be reprimanded

where’s the equality

i am inspired by others

listening to a woman on the radio

who says we have to address inequality

the bigotry

the slander

and speak out against it

dr. mary frances berry

an inspiration

i am subjected to harassment daily

on the job

at the store

in my home

i am not loved

the local constabulary

does not love me

the long arms of the law want

to put the squeeze on me

sid the squid and his squidlettes hate me

but i am inspired

i must persevere

at my job as an extroid i am

subjected to harassment

the old girls sit around and malign me

they say things of a sexual nature

things that would get me fired

if i said them

they lack sex appeal

“Woman’s virtue is mans greatest invention.”

                                  Cornelius Otis Skinner

i have been subjected to harassment

and even threats of violence

for speaking out against persons who

are seeking unwarranted entitlement

these particular people are becoming

increasingly dominant in business

they seek unconstitutional favor from government

they say they have a long tradition of aggressive

behavior and domination and superiority

above all they extol loyalty

“My honor is my loyalty”

         motto of the Schutzstaffel (German SS)

these people have become a fungus in society

semper fungus

i am told that if I do not behave

according to their rules

i will not have a roof

or a floor

or a door

or windows

and my legs will be cut off

and I will get no time

and my color is no good

and on

and on

and on

who are these people

do they know I live in a country

where men and women have

fought

and died

and are dying every week

to protect my freedom

that’s not a dream

that’s reality

dead people

who were told to fight

and die

to protect my freedom

i must do my part

by demanding and fighting

for my freedom

in this country

or their lives were given in vain

i  must speak out against tyranny

and the daily abuses of power

we as a nation are being subjected to

the vain notion that some people

deserve better treatment than others

we must fight against the tyrants

freedom is always under siege

it’s not a dream

All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.

T.E. Lawrence

i need to go

back to the circus

mr. cayetano

"The only man who is really free..."

 

the candidates are all around us

every move

every word

every gesture

is analyzed

interpreted

and we are fed a lot of

mush

 spotted some editorial

commentary from an age gone by

“Cleveland is a ‘strong man” exactly as a hog is a strong animal. Stubborn without courage, persevering without judgment and greedy without gratitude, these unpleasant characteristics Cleveland and the hog have in common. There are several other points of resemblance; but I have no desire to be hard on the hog……”

                      William Cowper Brann

                       Editor of Texas newspaper

                       “The Iconoclast”

pretty tough on old grover

this editor was tough on

all the politicians

eventually he was gunned down

in the streets of waco, texas

yikes

 when i listen to some of

what the candidates

have to say- i think

perhaps we could indulge in their

ideas and plans

like a buffet

some of this

a smattering of that

nobody has all the right ideas

the two guys at the top of the heap 

leave me with a bad taste in 

my mouth

i keep expecting mmit to say

let them eat cake

he’s all frosting

and no cake

herr newt

is all recipe

and no biscuits

"The only man who is really free is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse."

                      Jules Renard (1864 - 1910)

got to get 

back to the circus

mr. cayetano

"Beware lest in your anxiety..."

i have enemy's i suppose
who doesn't
i've been told many many times
you can't win against those folks

i picked up my 1889 copy of marcus aurelius antoninus
just now from the table beside the bed and decided
i would copy the first thing i saw
when i opened the book
and here it is from page 68

"This then remains; Remember to retire into this little territory
of thine own, and above all do not distract or strain thyself, but
be free, and look at things as a man, as a human being, as a citizen,
as a mortal. But among the readiest to thy hand to which thou shall
turn, let there be these, which are two. One is that things do not
touch the soul, for they are external and remain immovable; but our
perturbations come only from the opinion which is within.
The other is that all these things which thou seest change
immediately and will no longer be; and constantly bear in mind
how many of these changes thou hast already witnessed. The universe
is transformation; life is opinion."

i feel better already
i was watching a documentary about epicurus
on top documentaries night before last
this fellow had some interesting views
and would not be an epicurian by todays meaning
of the term
he thought advertising caused people to stray from
being happy
so a couple of thousand years ago this really rich
fellow in turkey who was a big fan of epicurus
built this giant wall in his city right next to the market place
and he chiseled in red letters on the wall the ideas of epicurus
about how buying things was not going to make people happy
pretty interesting
epicurus figured if people would bolster
themselves against advertising and opinion they would find it
easier to live the good life and be satisfied without
trying to purchase happiness
check out the video
very nice view from the old market place.

and that's why i keep bolstering myself against opinion
that i can't win against those folks 

"Beware lest in your anxiety to avoid war you obtain a master."
                                                                            Demosthenes

got to go,
back to the circus
mr. cayetano