"He has outsoared the shade..."

i am sitting at a small table in a smokey bar
in new orleans
i clutch a beer bottle in my hand
while the singer in the band sings a few notes
as i chat with a lovely woman across the table from me
 from behind the bar a floozy watches the crowd

a man says cut

the singer stops singing
the water vapor smoke begins to thin
the beer bottle is empty and has been
and i am still 24 years sober
the lovely woman is happily married
but not to me
the floozy behind the bar
is a stunningly beautiful redhead
who breaks the heart of men like me
for a hobby

this is the business of illusion
selling illusion to people
who are already living an illusion
a mirror reflecting a mirror reflecting a mirror

we do it three more times
then the director thanks us
and we walk two blocks back to the
building to get out paperwork signed
then catch the van to the parking lot

i wonder if i have enough gas to get home
and if the 6 bucks i have in cash will help if i don't
my heart hurts a little
but it is not broken
yet



He has outsoared the shade of
 our night;
Envy and calumny and hate and
pain,
And that unrest which men miscall
delight,
Can touch him not and torture not
again;
From the contagion of the worlds slow stain
He is secure, and now can never
mourn
A heart grown cold, a head grown
grey in vain."
                       Percy Bysshe Shelly
                                 1792-1822

back to the circus

mr. cayetano