here we go again..."if the divine will..."

    an attempt to see is i still have a blog or if i have been cancelled...this part seems to have been made to run the gauntlet of censure...while i put a lot of energy into the blog from last night i realize now that i am not immune from online violence...moreover i can see how easy it is for a person like me to be completely removed from any contact with anyone by the efforts of those who embrace totalitarian and authoritarian ideas and practices...i assumed that the intense attention that i have received would not result in my personal danger but i was wrong...much to many peoples puzzlement i have never made a nickle from my writing or my photography...first of all when i started this blog to avoid the students in the library from hacking my e-mails to my brother...and also i had been inspired by compulsive desire to scribble as they say...mr teatsqueezer grew organically from my muse and grew into a full blow character...he was the character that most intrigued some of the younger readers...when a small child ran up to me in the library wide eyed and expectant i realized that i had assumed some responsibility for the character of mr. teatsqueezer...who in the imaginations of these children was ME!...anyhow i i was told that i should monetize my characters and i knew from my own personal experiences that some children do not have any financial resources at all...when i was in about the first or second grade in elementary school my teacher decided that since there was a coke machine in the teachers lounge we should all be able to get a cold coke for a nickel...but some of the kids did not have a nickle and from that memory i decided that selling anything to children will eliminate some of them from the experience...i have been perfectly content to write without financial reward but i will not accept censure as something i must endure to write...also i know that when money enters into any transaction the dynamic of that relationship changes...i have tried to be sensitive to the minds of those who are impressionable and i do not believe that my writing has damaged any young minds...but i believe some of my writing could have been modified to be less "controversial"...i have heard people say that i am a writer and a photographer...i do both of those things...but i still like to think of myself as a "poet/philosopher"...yeah right! it is increasingly apparent to me that my writing has upset some people to the extent that they are willing to do me bodily harm...i can very easily see myself ending up as the poet Lorca, dragged from his home and shot by a mindless military... "if the divine will implies the torture of an innocent child by a brute, I'm handing back my ticket." Ivan from "The brothers karamazov" by Dostoevsky