I opened the door to the van
and there was the raccoon

"What are you making all the noise about!

and as raccoons always do
the raccoon said

"The possum started it!
the possum said that there was baloney sandwiches in these buckets"
.
"Well there are no baloney sandwiches in these buckets and
if the game warden catches you on this table he is going to
put out his wire trap and trap you and carry you across the river where
you will have to fight with all the coyotes and big raccoons."

"well the possums is dumb!"

"No, the possums are not dumb because they have been around for
millions of years, they  are just primitive, and besides they are eating
the persimmons and muscadines which are ripe now and what you should be eating.
So you get off my table and quit waking me up in the middle of the night!"

"The possums is still dumb. The possum started it!"

"Good-bye!"

 .